Alpha Males….it’s all in their jeans! (AKA the Arnold and the IMF French guy)


Good morning. I feel so much better today. My brain is functioning somewhat  again but that’s all for another blog. Today I wish to discuss the topic of alpha males and their biological inability to keep from planting their seed where ever they may roam (or try to).

Poor Arnold Schwarzenegger and the IMF French guy! Both are very much alpha males.  I learned much about the alpha male phenomena back in the 70s when I was privileged to pilot a new type of social studies program for my fifth grade students. Part of the year long course that I remember the most was studying baboons. I kid you not. We learned all about the social structure of baboon society. I found it fascinating. Of course they discussed the behavior and role of the alpha male in the troop.

In order for the species to survive, the strongest and wisest of the species must mate with as many females as is baboonly possible. It is not a far stretch to see that even though humans call themselves superior and “civilized” , underneath the epidermis, we are not removed from other mammal species. The evidence is all over the animal kingdom and Nature shows all the time.

The light went on to explain the kind of guys I was attracted to, dated, and inevitably broke up with. They ended up lawyers, judges, and tops of their fields (or at least could have) for the most part. But that’s for future discussion. There were many beta males or perhaps gamma males in my life but I often did not give them a chance because they were “too nice” and really didn’t actually turn me on.

There’s not much about the Middle Eastern and the polygamous Mormon splinter groups that I can admire. But  I think they got one thing right. Alpha males are forced by their inherited genes to procreate prodigiously. They can’t help it. Survival of the species. This has been happening as long as there have been alpha males. They get theirs first and God help the beta guys and all the rest of the gamma, delta, and omega men of the community. I mean look at the Biblical King David who had the husband of Bathsheba killed so he could have her as another of his wives, or the King of Siam, Mongkut,  who wanted Anna even though his flock was quite large already. He had 39 wives and countless concubines (around 9,000 supposedly.) David had eight wives but a huge flock of concubines. Another king, Solomon, supposedly had over 700 wives! Busy man! Today there are many Saudis who still openly have harems.

When we stop to analyze our reactions to alpha males, to be honest, there is open  admiration (wink, wink…boys will be boys) among many of the community of such men, even as they pretend to scorn them. I mean, we hear about Kings Solomon and David in CHURCH! If that isn’t sanctioning alpha sexual behavior, what is?

Look at the TV news coverage on  Arnold (now nicknamed the Sperminator or other similar “ator” monikers).  Or remember Clinton? (Although he needed anatomy lessons if it was his biological drive to procreate.) Or Edwards? Or the IMF chief who in his own country would barely be noticed for his attempts. His mistake was the country he chose to make his move in. We Americans are not as tolerant on the public surface of such behavior as the French society.

Women are biologically programmed to be attracted to the alphas. Our society won’t advance in our biological behavior until it becomes mind over biology. It will be only then that  women will be able to change the fundamental social structure of the human community. That isn’t going to happen any time soon. So in the meantime, the alphas will continue to do what alphas have always done: search the herds for appealing potential mates for one night stands or affairs, and if the women are unlucky enough, even marriage. Birth control notwithstanding.

I’m close to celebrating my 50th high school class reunion. Of all the marriages, there are only a small handful  (maybe 2 or 3) of girls from our class who managed to hang onto their alpha males. I don’t know how successfully since I have no access to what has happened to them behind closed doors. Our class was one of the 60s first en masse to cut and run when things became intolerable. Divorce was rampant and 2nd and 3rd marriages common. The truly successful marriages were among the beta and gamma males. Some of them are approaching their 50th anniversaries. You know, they were the “nice guys” but…. category. I don’t know the fate of the omega guys. I never knew any.

With all the genetic modification going on, I think it is a plausible solution to the problem of the “womanizers” in our community to do a little temporary gene-splicing among the procreation age females in our society. Let’s hook up our human DNA with the DNA of the black widow spider and make the ovulating female available to the alpha male. Once pregnancy is established, the natural instincts of the spliced black widow female will take over. Survival of the species, and the “nice guys” get a chance to make the females ( with the genes now removed) happy in an actual love relationship. End of problem. Namaste. Attic Annie

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One response to “Alpha Males….it’s all in their jeans! (AKA the Arnold and the IMF French guy)

  1. Hahaa…. nice article, Found this article about finding Mr TP…. This is what you should not be to be an alpha male… though funny to read, looks pretty good guide to know dumbass
    http://thecrazydesi.com/2011/10/how-to-find-mr-tp-tiny-penis/