Daily Archives: April 27, 2010

If I were Sandra Bullock…

First of all, I would never have the fortune to be Sandra Bullock. She has the talent, drive, intelligence, and personality to get where she wanted to go. I was never what one would call ambitious.

I have enjoyed her films for quite a while now. I love her style and grace. She has the ability, in my opinion, to not take herself too seriously. Of course that’s the public side of her. I’m not privy to the private side.

When she married Jesse I wondered what in the world she was doing. I didn’t trust him. He appeared to me to be the type of man who has a dangerous streak to him. I silently wished her well, however, and hoped for the best.

Some men are so magnetic, women are drawn to them. I’m sure that is what happened in Sandra’s case. As powerful and successful as she is, she would never be happy with Harvey…you know…Harvey Milquetoast. The average nice guy.

If I were Sandra I would be gagging when I heard that Jesse’s mistresses were offering apologies. I have a feeling it would make me want to heave. It would be bad enough if they did it privately, but in the day of instant communication, their apologies are splashed on headlines around the world.

It is of no solace that beautiful, talented women have the same problems that the rest of us Plain Janes have experienced. If you have never been betrayed, there is no way one can describe the gut wrenching feeling when the truth finally comes out. It feels like a gigantic screw has just been torqued right through your midsection. You are pinned down hanging helplessly in the middle of nowhere with a pain more powerful than anything that has ever been experienced before. She had just expressed her love for her husband and walked arm in arm on the red carpet a short time before. Then the bomb hit.

Somehow in the back of my mind I knew my marriage was doomed before the wedding night was over. Perhaps, Sandra had the same unconscious or even conscious thoughts in her head. I married my ex any way. He, like Jesse, was an alpha male. Women are drawn to alpha males. They are the gene spreaders that keep the species going. There is an irresistible urge to ignore any other nagging thoughts. Perhaps it is the smell of the stronger testosterone that attracts us.

I’ve never been around Jesse and hope I never am (like that would ever happen anyway), but at his age he probably still reeks of the hormone. He is certainly still attracting females to provide him services he obviously feels he needs.

If I were Sandra Bullock however, I would have liked to find out the one answer that mistresses probably can’t or won’t ever answer. “Why?” “Why if you knew he was married did you choose to pursue my husband?”

That is the question I always wanted to ask my ex’s mistress when he finally confessed to the affair and moved out the next day, four days before Christmas.

I would want to know since she was in a position to meet hundreds of men in her job, why she would give in to the temptation to date and mate with my husband. She was a bartender in a fairly nice hotel. He was an alcoholic (although he would never admit it). Surely there was someone else she could hook up with. What was it about him that made her want him? I often wondered if it was the thrill of being able to take someone who belonged to someone else.

Granted she was then in her middle 30s and maybe she wanted a husband bad enough to take what she could get. But why my husband?

I’m certain she wasn’t his first affair in our marriage. Traveling salesmen have a distinct advantage over those who work in the same building all the time. They have more free time to play around. “The plane was late,” “I had to stay another day,” I think I heard them all starting about four months after we wed.

Sandra’s profession kept her away from Jesse for long periods of time. That was unfortunate, but I doubt if even living together in the same house would have changed his ways. He would have found a way to cheat. In fact, I think I read one time he was in a back room with some woman while she was in another part of the shop. That probably gave him an extra high.

I guess when you marry whether you are rich or poor, highly educated or a high school dropout, beautiful or plain, you take your chances.

However, it would make the lives of the betrayed women so much easier if someone would invent a tomcat skunk detector to be used before the wedding takes place. I guess in reality though there are probably enough of us who wouldn’t even pay attention to that, even Sandra Bullock.  Namaste. Attic Annie

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