I was being lazy this morning. I thought a blog had already posted so I wasn’t concerned. I checked to see and…alas…no new blog. Then I realized that I did have another blog, but I had set it to publish on Sunday. It’s more of a Sunday topic type blog. So….here goes.
I have another WOW (wise older women) luncheon today. It’s my once a month get together with some friends. Sometimes we have ten or more, sometimes there’s only three of us. The problem with meeting with older women is that things happen. It’s not the same group every time. Last month there were six of us. The month before the group was larger. There’s something else going on in town today so we may only have the three of us.
One of the women for several months last year was in a nursing home with pneumonia. I thought maybe she would remain there, but she regained enough strength to return home. She has COPD and must carry an oxygen tank with her wherever she goes, but she is determined to go.
She is in her 80s and is a tiny woman. I fear for her safety when the wind is strong. She has difficulty hearing, so she misses out on much of the conversation, especially when the restaurant is noisy, but she still keeps coming. Her body may be becoming weaker, but her spirit is strong. She still insists on being part of the world. I admire that.
She has developed a good relationship with the “leader” of the group…the woman responsible for setting up the restaurants every month. That woman is very kind hearted and will do whatever she is able for anyone who may need help.
Perhaps it is from years of practice being a minister’s wife. That was during the age that congregations hired “two for the price of one”. They made certain that the minister had a wife who was highly involved in the activities of the church…of course, without pay. I was very young when the minister at my childhood church was hired. I remember that his wife somewhat broke those “rules”. I often heard criticism of how “standoffish” she was and how little she participated in church activities. Women of the congregation can be so critical of those who don’t live up to perceived roles.
My friend is not like that. She does get involved in the lives of others. However, I’m guessing she does it out of a desire to serve rather than feeling pressured to do it. I have never learned the boundaries between friendship and predatorship. In an effort to not “intrude” and take advantage, I don’t perhaps seek help from others as often as I could. My friendship with her is like that. I try not to take advantage of her.
She did do me a couple of favors two years ago. The train station is about seven miles from my house. I needed a ride and she agreed to take me. I rode the train up north and then flew back home. She was also at the airport to pick me up so that I wouldn’t have to take the commuter train back to the same train station. Thank goodness for cell phones. I called her when I deboarded and she was on the way to the airport. However, it was the wrong one and she had to double back a couple of exits to reach DFW! Somehow we had not communicated clearly. Fortunately, she’s the type who easily forgave the miscommunication.
I guess my problem with allowing friends to help is that I seem to have friends who have other family and friends. I am very seldom ever asked by anyone else to do favors for them. That makes me feel uneasy that I am taking without giving. It’s not that I need help every day or every week, but when I do need help my first course of action is to try to figure out how to do it myself. I guess that’s from having to do it myself most of my life. I’m still working on it.
The lunch starts in an hour so enough about these two friends. Hopefully, you have friends such as these two in your lives as well. If you do, you are blessed. Namaste. Attic Annie