It’s supposed to be a little cooler this morning so if you want, we can sit out on the porch. It’s predicted to rain today but I haven’t looked out my window yet to see what’s happening. I love sitting on my porch if the rain is gentle and my chimes are chiming. Come join me.
I’ve been thinking about relationships lately. I am finding relationships are very confusing these days. I’m willing to guess there’s an awful lot of free floating angst out there among young boys and girls up to and including senior citizens who are trying for the first or last time to find someone with whom to connect. There doesn’t seem to be any clear cut steps involved any more , and on any given day, the same word labeling a relationship may change completely.
The Soda Shop
I am a baby boomer. When I was in elementary and high school there seemed for the most part to be a set schedule between the males and the females. The boys would ask the girls for a date. They would pick them up at their homes. After several dates, NEVER the first one, the girl would allow the boy to kiss her. The first time was always at the end of the date at the door. This led to necking. This led to petting. This is where the closeness supposedly ended. Anything beyond petting was off limits. In high school it meant the boy giving the girl his class ring which she wrapped in yards of angora or wore on a chain around her neck. This meant “going steady”. It led many times to marriage soon after graduation.
If the couple were in college, dating led to the young man giving the young lady a lavelier. If the young couple was very seriously involved, he would pin her. This was second only to becoming engaged. Each step was supposedly engraved in stone. How much was actually true and how much more activity was clandestine, as a child I was not privy to such information.
I do know this was before the era of the pill and condoms were not out for open display. If a girl got pregnant it was the disgrace of the entire community and tongues wagged unmercifully. If there were no wedding, the girl would often “visit an aunt” in another town for several months and come home later sans baby and with flat abs. In many instances, if she were able to make connections, an illegal abortion might have been performed, often times leaving her physically and emotionally scarred for life.
I have a cousin who, the summer after her senior year, had a baby. The wedding was held at the church, but she was not dressed in white. When I asked why, I was never told. She was eighteen and the wedding was a rush rush hush hush affair. This was the late 50s.
I was either blessed or cursed depending on how one views the times to be in college when most of the mores came tumbling down and it was Katy bar the door. There was no stopping the rapidity of the change in behavior from the conservative and confining 50s to the wild and crazy 60s. My freshman year, women had curfews. A few years later there were not only co-ed dorms with separate wings for men and women, there were also co-ed floors. There was free love and mate swapping parties. A whole avalanche of change was traveling down upon us at lightning speed and many of us got caught and buried.
That behavior has only gotten looser since the sixties. Those ground breaking kids of the 60s are now the retiring baby boomers of the 00s. Hardly anyone except staunch religious fundamentalists in the US pay any attention anymore about “what the neighbors will think”. In many situations the neighbors are in the same situation anyway.
We’ve gone from “Birds do it, bees do it even educated fleas do it, let’s do it. Let’s fall in love” to a song I just found called “F^& k her gently” by Tenacious D! Another song is called simply “Sex Song” . It has the most explicit words I have EVER seen…including in my ex’s Playboy magazines which I read for the articles. If it isn’t hard core pornography, there is no such thing any more. This is what is playing for the teenagers. No wonder no one can define the interaction between males and females in the US today. There are no unchanging words to describe it. Meanings of words seem to change at the speed of light.
An older couple walking the beach
I’ve got a lot to do. Come back and we’ll talk more tomorrow. Attic Annie