Maybe, kinda, sorta, beginning to….


Good morning! I’m up in my attic kind of early this morning. If you’ like to join me for coffee, pull up a chair and I’ll pour you a steaming mug.

In describing myself, I would have to admit that my mantra would have to be “Maybe, kinda, sorta, beginning to think about….” doing whatever I am thinking of doing.

I believe at one time I made decisions at a faster rate, although, acting spontaneously was a rarity. It did happen and occasionally still does, but MKSBTTA mantra usually kicks in first.

If you’ve been following my story, you know after I married we moved into three different houses in three different states in two and one half years. My ex was in a business in the late 70s that was in turmoil. The companies kept getting sold and he kept getting transferred.

I am still living in that third house. The whole house was mine, free and clear, by the time my son graduated from high school several years ago.

I love the location of this house. There are only two entrances to this area that lead to it. It doesn’t matter which of the two ways I turn, I swear I can feel my blood pressure drop fifteen points by the time I turn into my driveway. The area has two streets. One is shaped almost like a widened horseshoe and the other is like a bar connecting the two sides. It is almost like living in a park. The neighborhood trees have been growing for fifty years. There is very little traffic, except at rush hour in the morning and evening. Over the years, people have discovered they can turn off of an FM Highway and cut through on the way to the interstates. They avoid a long light by doing that.

 Neighbors jog around the “track”, ride their bikes, walk their dogs, push the strollers, etc. I wave and they wave back. Sometimes they stop and come up to the porch for a chat. When I grew up, all we had was a stoop which didn’t lend itself for sitting. Since moving here, I hadn’t sat on the porch for the twenty five years I worked and reared my son. Now its one of my favorite things to do. 

I would miss both Maxine and the porch tremendously if I chose to sell this place. However, it is becoming a drain on me. There are repairs that haven’t been done. It is much too large for just one person. The taxes have gone up 58% in the past five years even though no improvements have been done. Even though I installed thermal windows and had extra insulation blown in to the crawl space, the utilities are still a good chunk of change.

There is another house that has been on the market for quite a while. I know the owner and I know the house has been well cared for. It does have a fenced in back yard for my dog, but it doesn’t have a porch. It is more than 1,000 square feet smaller than this house. The yard is small, less than 0.2 acre.  My yard, in comparision is 0.9 acre.  My ex wanted this big yard. He wanted “elbow room”. He got the yard and then moved his elbows to Kansas with the bartender, leaving me the room. The smaller lot would be much easier to care for.

It is less than a mile from my house. As the crow flies, it is only about 1/4 mile but the roads are winding in this village. The houses are so much closer to each other, but in that section there is curbing and sidewalks. Our area is more like asphalt country road. I wouldn’t have to deal with the lakes that tend to form in my yard during the spring deluges due to an outdated sewer system.

There are many things I love to do but I can’t because of the expenses involved. I am in the same boat as millions of others of retirees. I am thankful I have a pension. Believe me, I’m not complaining. I have lived a frugal life and the “pay as I go” plan has served me well. I start saving for the next big purchase the day I buy something else. I am still, thank God, not penniless and out on the street. According to world standards, I am truly blessed and live a life of abundance. Heat and air conditioning, gas for my car, food in my cupboards, clothes for my body, money for Sunday collections…that’s all I really need.

Sometimes I have to face reality. My angels are telling me it is time to make a change. Maybe I should kick my MKSBTTA mantra up a notch and at least TAI…think about it. I wish my angels would give me a nudge if I’m thinking in the right direction.  Attic Annie

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